Break Me Open
Blessed Sunday to you all and may the grace of the Love be with you all today.
This past week has been momentous for me. My beloved boyfriend and I have parted ways, and in the sadness of the moments, I allow my heart to feel it all. With each tear I shed, I tell Spirit to keep breaking me open, break me open, break me open.
My intention is always to live in the highest and best for my soul journey, and in this perspective, people come into and out of our lives to help us move forward on that discovery. What George and I shared was incredible, and I grew so much in myself and what I am here to do. He was a blessing and a gift, and now our time is complete. I had named him specifically in the book that I wrote, and many expected the fairy tale ending, yet the path that we are called to walk is way beyond any story or fantasy that we want to create. I fully intend to call in the next man in my life the same way that I did before – with intention, prayer, meditation and a clear sense of what I want in a partnership. I will let God put us together as He did this relationship as I continue to co-create with life.
What I leave this relationship with is a profound level of depth within myself and a groundedness that is mature and solid. I know how to take care of myself with incredible self care and did much of that this week. I went to the ocean and put my feet in the water, got a massage, walked in the woods and ate blackberries off the bushes, connected with so many people who are close to me and received their love and support, and went to dinner and the movies with my cousin. I released many things on the full moon this past Thursday as I wrote down what I am ready to leave behind that is no longer serving me and burned the paper. All of these practices allow me to keep myself open to what life is trying to bring me, and that is not only abundance and financial sovereignty but a partnership that is evolutionary and growth oriented. This relationship gave us both what we needed to discover in ourselves, and now it is up to each of us to do our own individual work to rise to the next level in our growth.
I had two sessions back to back with my spiritual coach this week, and two definite patterns came into awareness with her help. The first was that I keep putting myself last, and now it is time for me to put myself in the front of the line. I have been taking Alison Armstrong’s course this summer on the Queen’s Code, and her fundamental premise is honor yourself first. Often for women we feel that if we do that, we will be judged for being selfish. My coach says if people think you are being selfish, then you’re doing life right. We are not here to cater to what society, our families and culture put on us but to truly honor what is true and right for us. Not always easy for sure, and this is what I will be working on with myself.
The second pattern was this deep part of myself that holds myself back. She has been running the show for way too long, and with my coach’s help, I could finally see that clearly. Now that I have this awareness of this disempowered place in myself, I am calling it out, and it is done. And I could not have gotten to this HUGE awareness without the love and growth I received in this relationship. So you see, if we allow ourselves to not get attached to what should or should not be, we can move forward with greater ease and flow with life. It’s a choice, and it’s a practice. I am infinitely better because of all of it.
This photo is from my hike this week, and being in nature is one of my favorite ways to bring healing and grace into my life. My prayer for you today is that you live full out, let the Love of life continue to break you open, connect with your heart and what you truly want, and live from there. In honoring ourselves first, we can come into true alignment with our soul purpose and create the change we are here to bring forward.
Much love, many blessings. xo