Happy Valentine’s Day

Ahhh, Valentine’s Day. For a day that is meant to be all about love, it often turns into a day that is filled with depression, angst, sadness and loneliness. And for those of you out of a divorce 1, 2 or 8 years with no one in your life and you want one, it can be even more lonely and devastating.

I get it. I have run all of those emotions on this day. Even when you are with someone, the expectations of what this day is supposed to be can also be emotionally triggering if your partner doesn’t show his/her love to you in the way you were wanting. So what are we to do to make it through this season of love when you are not feeling it, being shown it, living it in the way you want?

First and foremost, remember that this is JUST A DAY like any other day. It only holds significance if we give it that. Someone, somewhere in the marketing world a long time ago thought this would be a great time to keep the marketing machine moving (although this day was originally based off of St. Valentine), and you always have a choice whether or not you want to buy into what this paradigm is feeding you or you can choose to make another choice that empowers you and what you want this day to be for yourself.

If you were to truly disengage from the insanity of it all and take your power back, what would you want for yourself not only today but each and every day in your life? How about you show yourself what it would mean to truly love yourself by doing something for you. Yeah, I know, you hear people say this all the time and sometimes you can’t get yourself out of the funk. Sometimes it takes effort. I get that, too. But it’s time we start waking up to the fact that we constantly have choices – where we place our attention, how we show up for ourselves, who we choose to love – that no matter what outside circumstances are swirling around us, we can choose love any time, every time. Most importantly for ourselves.

For me, I am choosing fun, play and honoring myself even if I am with someone or not. Because even when you are with someone and you really want the dinner and flowers but they don’t deliver, expectations cause havoc. When you are truly empowered, you can ask for what you need in a way that can be heard and then no one is disappointed – especially your partner. Not with someone? Go buy yourself the flowers and enjoy them. Get take out, enjoy dinner with a friend or your kids or by yourself if you need some alone time, take a candlelight bath. Dance to your favorite music. Take a walk outside.

Everything always comes back to us, individually, and how we stand for ourselves. It’s not about the season or the day. It is always about how we put ourselves first each and every time, in this moment, right here, right now. When we can get good at just being in this present moment, placing our intentions in the Field and then surrendering knowing it’s already happening, then no one or thing can move you from your truest essence - which of course is Love.

And if this is the best day of your life ever, then I am celebrating that with you, too. But most importantly, you are the best thing that has ever happened to this planet – you, incredible you – and that is what I will be celebrating no matter what day it is.

And reach out to me to have a chat about how you can begin to heal and thrive after your divorce here: https://calendly.com/diannahanken/breakthrough-call

Standing with you in Love and Light.

Much love, many blessings. xo